25 Things You NEVER Want to Say to Your Girlfriend

PocketEpiphany Published 12/01/2021 in Funny

If you've landed a girlfriend, that puts you ahead of most of this site. But can you actually keep her?

All it takes is saying one wrong thing to completely kill the relationship. To help you keep your gal, we compiled the things you should never, EVER say to your girlfriend!

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1.
Most things are said in the heat of an argument. Words matter and they can cut someone far deeper than any physical weapon. And once you've said them, you can't take them back. So watch what you say during an argument.
2.
Anything that would indicate that your love is dependent on something other than her character (e.g. "as long as you look hot I’ll love you" etc.) And I’d avoid things that they can’t control ("your laughter sounds awful etc)...those things hit deep and very very hard
3.
Friendly Reminder: if she asks which of her friends you’d like to do a threesome with, only name one friend.
4.
Once told my girlfriend in college she wasn’t funny, and things got nuclear.
5.
Anything that makes them feel insecure, really. Even if you do break up, don't ever say "I never loved you", they will forever remember that and it will stain their future relationship(s), uncertain if they really do love them
6.
You’re overreacting
7.
Backhanded compliments. Example- "You look so beautiful without your glasses."
8.
“You’re right, you do look kinda fat”
9.
Your mom at this age looked better… what happened?
10.
"You're crazy." Seriously, don't ever say that.
11.
Smile more
12.
"Your period must be coming"
13.
"Will you marry me?"
14.
I can help you with your workout and diet routine to lose that extra weight.
15.
Apparently telling her she should be more responsible minutes after she lost her phone is something you shouldn't say.
16.
Whether another woman looks attractive
17.
"My ex was better at...." You don't even need to complete it. Those 5 words are all it takes.
18.
"Your best friend is hot"
19.
Holy sh*t, are you pregnant?
20.
I remember in high school my gf at the time was singing to me, and then I went on to say “you know who can really sing well, ____, she’s really good!”. Now that I’m older, I look back at how stupid that was.
21.
You look fat when you cry.
22.
Your mom looks hot in that
23.
Calm down
24.
My wife is better in bed than you
25.
My friend's ex told me that another friend looked better than his girl. It kinda made her conscious about the other woman, especially if he mentioned her.

1.
Most things are said in the heat of an argument. Words matter and they can cut someone far deeper than any physical weapon. And once you've said them, you can't take them back. So watch what you say during an argument.
2.
Anything that would indicate that your love is dependent on something other than her character (e.g. "as long as you look hot I’ll love you" etc.) And I’d avoid things that they can’t control ("your laughter sounds awful etc)...those things hit deep and very very hard
3.
Friendly Reminder: if she asks which of her friends you’d like to do a threesome with, only name one friend.
4.
Once told my girlfriend in college she wasn’t funny, and things got nuclear.
5.
Anything that makes them feel insecure, really. Even if you do break up, don't ever say "I never loved you", they will forever remember that and it will stain their future relationship(s), uncertain if they really do love them
6.
You’re overreacting
7.
Backhanded compliments. Example- "You look so beautiful without your glasses."
8.
“You’re right, you do look kinda fat”
9.
Your mom at this age looked better… what happened?
10.
"You're crazy." Seriously, don't ever say that.
11.
Smile more
12.
"Your period must be coming"
13.
"Will you marry me?"
14.
I can help you with your workout and diet routine to lose that extra weight.
15.
Apparently telling her she should be more responsible minutes after she lost her phone is something you shouldn't say.
16.
Whether another woman looks attractive
17.
"My ex was better at...." You don't even need to complete it. Those 5 words are all it takes.
18.
"Your best friend is hot"
19.
Holy sh*t, are you pregnant?
20.
I remember in high school my gf at the time was singing to me, and then I went on to say “you know who can really sing well, ____, she’s really good!”. Now that I’m older, I look back at how stupid that was.
21.
You look fat when you cry.
22.
Your mom looks hot in that
23.
Calm down
24.
My wife is better in bed than you
25.
My friend's ex told me that another friend looked better than his girl. It kinda made her conscious about the other woman, especially if he mentioned her.

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Most things are said in the heat of an argument. Words matter and they can cut someone far deeper than any physical weapon. And once you've said them, you can't take them back. So watch what you say during an argument.

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1. Most things are said in the heat of an argument. Words matter and they can cut someone far deeper than any physical weapon. And once you've said them, you can't take them back. So watch what you say during an argument.

2. Anything that would indicate that your love is dependent on something other than her character (e.g. "as long as you look hot I’ll love you" etc.) And I’d avoid things that they can’t control ("your laughter sounds awful etc)...those things hit deep and very very hard

3. Friendly Reminder: if she asks which of her friends you’d like to do a threesome with, only name one friend.

4. Once told my girlfriend in college she wasn’t funny, and things got nuclear.

5. Anything that makes them feel insecure, really. Even if you do break up, don't ever say "I never loved you", they will forever remember that and it will stain their future relationship(s), uncertain if they really do love them

6. You’re overreacting

7. Backhanded compliments. Example- "You look so beautiful without your glasses."

8. “You’re right, you do look kinda fat”

9. Your mom at this age looked better… what happened?

10. "You're crazy." Seriously, don't ever say that.

11. Smile more

12. "Your period must be coming"

13. "Will you marry me?"

14. I can help you with your workout and diet routine to lose that extra weight.

15. Apparently telling her she should be more responsible minutes after she lost her phone is something you shouldn't say.

16. Whether another woman looks attractive

17. "My ex was better at...." You don't even need to complete it. Those 5 words are all it takes.

18. "Your best friend is hot"

19. Holy sh*t, are you pregnant?

20. I remember in high school my gf at the time was singing to me, and then I went on to say “you know who can really sing well, ____, she’s really good!”. Now that I’m older, I look back at how stupid that was.

21. You look fat when you cry.

22. Your mom looks hot in that

23. Calm down

24. My wife is better in bed than you

25. My friend's ex told me that another friend looked better than his girl. It kinda made her conscious about the other woman, especially if he mentioned her.

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13 Comments

eBaum's Picks

1.
Most things are said in the heat of an argument. Words matter and they can cut someone far deeper than any physical weapon. And once you've said them, you can't take them back. So watch what you say during an argument.

2.
Anything that would indicate that your love is dependent on something other than her character (e.g. "as long as you look hot I’ll love you" etc.) And I’d avoid things that they can’t control ("your laughter sounds awful etc)...those things hit deep and very very hard

3.
Friendly Reminder: if she asks which of her friends you’d like to do a threesome with, only name one friend.

4.
Once told my girlfriend in college she wasn’t funny, and things got nuclear.

5.
Anything that makes them feel insecure, really. Even if you do break up, don't ever say "I never loved you", they will forever remember that and it will stain their future relationship(s), uncertain if they really do love them

6.
You’re overreacting

7.
Backhanded compliments. Example- "You look so beautiful without your glasses."

8.
“You’re right, you do look kinda fat”

9.
Your mom at this age looked better… what happened?

10.
"You're crazy." Seriously, don't ever say that.

11.
Smile more

12.
"Your period must be coming"

13.
"Will you marry me?"

14.
I can help you with your workout and diet routine to lose that extra weight.

15.
Apparently telling her she should be more responsible minutes after she lost her phone is something you shouldn't say.

16.
Whether another woman looks attractive

17.
"My ex was better at...." You don't even need to complete it. Those 5 words are all it takes.

18.
"Your best friend is hot"

19.
Holy sh*t, are you pregnant?

20.
I remember in high school my gf at the time was singing to me, and then I went on to say “you know who can really sing well, ____, she’s really good!”. Now that I’m older, I look back at how stupid that was.

21.
You look fat when you cry.

22.
Your mom looks hot in that

23.
Calm down

24.
My wife is better in bed than you

25.
My friend's ex told me that another friend looked better than his girl. It kinda made her conscious about the other woman, especially if he mentioned her.